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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Things
Laughing
Think
Walks
Thinking
Write
Makes
Around
Across
Thought
Laugh
Come
Usually
Writing
Walk
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
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I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
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I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
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My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.
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I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
Demetri Martin
