Quote

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Makes
Around
Across
Thought
Laugh
Come
Usually
Writing
Walk
Things
Laughing
Think
Walks
Thinking
Write

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
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What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
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Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
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I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
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There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
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It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
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Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
Demetri Martin