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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Turn
Turns
Enactment
Commit
Crime

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
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The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.
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Once I started to look i finally began to see.
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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I need to develop some patience - immediately.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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I've never read an article of clothing.
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
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Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Demetri Martin
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The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
Demetri Martin
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin