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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Turn
Turns
Enactment
Commit
Crime

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
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There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
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I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
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When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
Demetri Martin
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
Demetri Martin
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
Demetri Martin
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
Demetri Martin
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
Demetri Martin
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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
Demetri Martin
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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Demetri Martin
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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
Demetri Martin
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
Demetri Martin
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin