Quote

They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Dealing
Figure
Structure
Figures
Freedom
Sense
Constraints
Multiple

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
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If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
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I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
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I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
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When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
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I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
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I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
Demetri Martin
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
Demetri Martin
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Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
Demetri Martin
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
Demetri Martin
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Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
Demetri Martin
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I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
Demetri Martin
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
Demetri Martin