Quote

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Favorite
Blend
Humor
Clothings
Funny
Clothing
Makes
Hey
Doe
Opposite
Like
Woods
Opposites
Camouflage
Patterns
Asshole

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
Demetri Martin
Image
I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
Demetri Martin
Image
When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
Demetri Martin
Image
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
Image
Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
Demetri Martin
Image
Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
Demetri Martin
Image
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
Demetri Martin
Image
The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Demetri Martin
Image
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
Image
To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
Demetri Martin
Image
Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
Demetri Martin
Image
I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
Demetri Martin
Image
My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Demetri Martin
Image
The earth without art is just eh.
Demetri Martin
Image
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
Demetri Martin
Image
The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
Demetri Martin
Image
Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
Image
Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
Demetri Martin