Quote

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'

Demetri Martin

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TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Humor
Clothings
Funny
Clothing
Makes
Hey
Doe
Opposite
Like
Woods
Opposites
Camouflage
Patterns
Asshole
Favorite
Blend

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
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A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
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I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.
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A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin