Quote

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Good
Street
Saws
Streets
Couple
Humor
Pregnant
Week
Weeks
Funny
Lady
Thought
Ugly

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
Demetri Martin
Image
If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
Demetri Martin
Image
I never set out to do a sketch show.
Demetri Martin
Image
One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.
Demetri Martin
Image
And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
Demetri Martin
Image
I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin
Image
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
Demetri Martin
Image
Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
Demetri Martin
Image
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
Image
I just listen to so much music that I like the role music can play in scoring something. I'm not doing song parodies or funny songs, I'm just adding some music to my words. So it's limited and specific, but as a performer I find it pretty enjoyable.
Demetri Martin
Image
I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
Demetri Martin
Image
I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
Demetri Martin
Image
If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
Image
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
Demetri Martin
Image
Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.
Demetri Martin