Quote

For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Sometimes
Confused
Something
Comedy
Aggressively
Things
Friends
Comedians
People
Actually
Shocked
Moving
Offense
Find
Moves
Take
Comedian
Hard
Tolerance

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.
Demetri Martin
Image
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin
Image
When you're wearing an animal costume and something bad happens, your facial expression doesn't change. The animal is deadpan the whole time. If you're skiing in a gorilla suit and you fall, you just see a gorilla who has no emotion. It's just a stoic gorilla, wildly falling down a hill, out of control.
Demetri Martin
Image
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
Demetri Martin
Image
I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
Demetri Martin
Image
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
Image
I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
Image
You mock those who blindly follow the majority...turn your attention now to those who are so dedicated to deviating from the norm that they would gladly cease breathing if it were suggested to them that inhalation was a form of conformity for they deserve just as much scrutiny and ridicule.
Demetri Martin
Image
There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
Demetri Martin
Image
The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
Demetri Martin
Image
How to be a bouncer: be an asshole stand near a door.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
Demetri Martin
Image
I live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
Demetri Martin
Image
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
Demetri Martin
Image
My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
Demetri Martin
Image
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
Demetri Martin
Image
As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri Martin
Image
I just found out that I have more allies than America!
Demetri Martin