Quote

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Two
Aesthetically
Ideas
Artistically
Find
Sentence
Great
Satisfying
Something
Sentences
Really
Jokes
Getting
Idea

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
Demetri Martin
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When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
Demetri Martin
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
Demetri Martin
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I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin
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There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
Demetri Martin
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Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
Demetri Martin
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
Demetri Martin
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Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
Demetri Martin
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
Demetri Martin
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
Demetri Martin
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin
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Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
Demetri Martin
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Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, I'm not racist, but... I say, I'm not racist, but you look great today. They say, That wasn't racist at all. I said, I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican.
Demetri Martin
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I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
Demetri Martin
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
Demetri Martin
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If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
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My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
Demetri Martin
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I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
Demetri Martin