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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Guess
Usually
Humorist
Strange
Prop
Called
Humorists
Use
Props
Sometimes
Confuse
Always
Compliment
Comedian

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
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I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
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They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
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I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.
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I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
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