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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Called
Humorists
Use
Props
Sometimes
Confuse
Always
Compliment
Comedian
Guess
Usually
Humorist
Strange
Prop

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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
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There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
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I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
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Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
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I never set out to do a sketch show.
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