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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Called
Humorists
Use
Props
Sometimes
Confuse
Always
Compliment
Comedian
Guess
Usually
Humorist
Strange
Prop

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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
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I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
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When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
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I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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