Quote

It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Rich
Curves
Nice
Adult
Interesting
Discovery
Part
Adults
Something
Ignorance
Level
Levels
Steep
Learning
Curve

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I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
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When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
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When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
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Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
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One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'
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The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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