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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Infinite
Possibility
Makes
Retrospect
Everything
Finite
Life
Hopeful
Possibilities
Guess
More quotes by Demetri Martin
My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
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The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
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Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
Demetri Martin
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
Demetri Martin
How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Demetri Martin
They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.
Demetri Martin
I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
Demetri Martin
I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
Demetri Martin
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin
Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
Demetri Martin
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
Demetri Martin
It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
Demetri Martin
