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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Finite
Life
Hopeful
Possibilities
Guess
Infinite
Possibility
Makes
Retrospect
Everything
More quotes by Demetri Martin
A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.
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Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
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I need to develop some patience - immediately.
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
Demetri Martin
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
Demetri Martin
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
Demetri Martin
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
Demetri Martin
A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
Demetri Martin
To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
Demetri Martin
My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
Demetri Martin
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
Demetri Martin
I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
Demetri Martin
Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri Martin
I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout.
Demetri Martin
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good. Hopefully it balances out.
Demetri Martin
I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin
I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
Demetri Martin
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
Demetri Martin
If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
Demetri Martin
