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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Infinite
Possibility
Makes
Everything
Retrospect
Life
Finite
Hopeful
Possibilities
Guess
More quotes by Demetri Martin
People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
Demetri Martin
If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
Demetri Martin
They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
Demetri Martin
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
Demetri Martin
I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.
Demetri Martin
How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
Demetri Martin
I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
Demetri Martin
I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
Demetri Martin
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin
Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
Demetri Martin
I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
Demetri Martin
You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Demetri Martin
Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri Martin
Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.
Demetri Martin
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
Demetri Martin
One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'
Demetri Martin
How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
Demetri Martin
As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri Martin
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
