Quote

If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Something
Wait
Years
Window
Make
Stand
Failed
Good
Days
Conclusion
Things
Waiting
Discover
Think
Might
Ten
Thinking
Different
Totally
Mind
Cool

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.
Demetri Martin
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
Demetri Martin
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
Demetri Martin
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
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I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
Demetri Martin
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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
Demetri Martin
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
Demetri Martin
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If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
Demetri Martin
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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
Demetri Martin
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
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We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
Demetri Martin
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
Demetri Martin
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To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri Martin
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I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
Demetri Martin
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Demetri Martin
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
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I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
Demetri Martin
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Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
Demetri Martin
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You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?
Demetri Martin
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
Demetri Martin