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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
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Impediments
Need
Hurdle
Right
Insane
Many
Stand
Needs
Desire
Something
Away
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Didn
Clicked
Thinking
Littles
Hurdles
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
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Another thing that I like and that's fun for me is to try and talk and play music at the same time, because I feel like I'm learning something. There are these little challenges built into it it's a way to push myself a little bit more as a performer.
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I equals all of the ifs added up over time. The ifs, those are the possibilities that's infinite for all of us. Every day there are just millions of them. Time, that's finite for each of us there is no question there. Maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real I can emerge, depending upon those choices.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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I never set out to do a sketch show.
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They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.
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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri Martin
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
Demetri Martin
Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
Demetri Martin
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin