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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Something
Away
Think
Didn
Clicked
Thinking
Littles
Hurdles
Little
Impediments
Need
Hurdle
Right
Insane
Many
Stand
Needs
Desire

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
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To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
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I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
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I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
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I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
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We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
Demetri Martin
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I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
Demetri Martin
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
Demetri Martin
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
Demetri Martin
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Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
Demetri Martin
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I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
Demetri Martin
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Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin