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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Fall
Easily
Shows
Jokes
Think
Difference
Thinking
Second
Comedy
Differences
Teller
Show
Reporting
Making
Joke

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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
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The earth without art is just eh.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
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Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.
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The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
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