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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Thinking
Second
Comedy
Differences
Teller
Show
Reporting
Making
Joke
Fall
Easily
Shows
Jokes
Think
Difference

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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
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I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.
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Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
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I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
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When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good. Hopefully it balances out.
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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
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When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
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I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
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I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
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Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
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