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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Comedy
Differences
Teller
Show
Reporting
Making
Joke
Fall
Easily
Shows
Jokes
Think
Difference
Thinking
Second

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I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
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I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
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If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
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To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
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If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
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It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
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I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
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I never set out to do a sketch show.
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
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I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
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Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.
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When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
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The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.
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There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
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