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I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Making
Joke
Fall
Easily
Jokes
Shows
Difference
Think
Second
Thinking
Comedy
Differences
Teller
Show
Reporting

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The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.
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The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
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I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
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Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
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I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.
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Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
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