Quote

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Differences
Teller
Show
Reporting
Making
Joke
Fall
Easily
Shows
Jokes
Think
Difference
Thinking
Second
Comedy

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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
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When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
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You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
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I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.
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You mock those who blindly follow the majority...turn your attention now to those who are so dedicated to deviating from the norm that they would gladly cease breathing if it were suggested to them that inhalation was a form of conformity for they deserve just as much scrutiny and ridicule.
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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