Quote

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Like
Shorter
Fewer
Jokes
Words
Ideas
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
Demetri Martin
Image
They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
Demetri Martin
Image
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
Image
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
Demetri Martin
Image
When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
Demetri Martin
Image
I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
Image
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
Demetri Martin
Image
Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
Demetri Martin
Image
I need to develop some patience - immediately.
Demetri Martin
Image
I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
Demetri Martin
Image
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
Image
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
Demetri Martin
Image
Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
Demetri Martin
Image
I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
Demetri Martin
Image
I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
Demetri Martin