Quote

I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Great
Comic
Work
Gay
Way
Deal
Deals
Comedy
Focus
Hipster
Probably
Oriented
Today
Hips

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Demetri Martin
Image
What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
Demetri Martin
Image
It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin
Image
Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
Demetri Martin
Image
You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?
Demetri Martin
Image
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
Demetri Martin
Image
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good. Hopefully it balances out.
Demetri Martin
Image
A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin
Image
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
Demetri Martin
Image
The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
Demetri Martin
Image
Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
Image
I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
Demetri Martin
Image
One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'
Demetri Martin
Image
I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
Demetri Martin