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I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Work
Gay
Way
Deal
Deals
Comedy
Focus
Hipster
Probably
Oriented
Today
Hips
Great
Comic

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
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I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
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I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
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Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
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I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good. Hopefully it balances out.
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
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It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
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If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.
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The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
Demetri Martin
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
Demetri Martin