Quote

I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
School
Annoying
Much
Starting
Wasn
Crazy
Class
Guy
Law
Become
Clown

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
Image
When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
Demetri Martin
Image
I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.
Demetri Martin
Image
I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin
Image
Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
Demetri Martin
Image
Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
Demetri Martin
Image
I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
Demetri Martin
Image
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
Demetri Martin
Image
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
Demetri Martin
Image
The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Demetri Martin
Image
We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
Demetri Martin
Image
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
Demetri Martin
Image
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri Martin
Image
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
Demetri Martin
Image
I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin
Image
A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Demetri Martin