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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Crazy
Class
Guy
Law
Become
Clown
School
Annoying
Much
Starting
Wasn

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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
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To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
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When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
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I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.
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I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
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I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
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