Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
Demetri Martin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Reliability
Unreliable
Word
Words
Men
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
Demetri Martin
How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
Demetri Martin
I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.
Demetri Martin
Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
Demetri Martin
I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.
Demetri Martin
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'
Demetri Martin
Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, Done, next!
Demetri Martin
I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
Demetri Martin
I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word dictionary, and it said you're an asshole.
Demetri Martin
As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
Demetri Martin
I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.
Demetri Martin
I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
Demetri Martin
My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
Demetri Martin
When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
Demetri Martin
I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
Demetri Martin