Quote

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Reliability
Unreliable
Word
Words
Men

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
Image
I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
Demetri Martin
Image
Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... ..DJ Abraham Lincoln
Demetri Martin
Image
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Demetri Martin
Image
One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'
Demetri Martin
Image
I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
Demetri Martin
Image
I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.
Demetri Martin
Image
As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri Martin
Image
I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin
Image
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri Martin
Image
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
Demetri Martin
Image
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
Demetri Martin
Image
I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.
Demetri Martin
Image
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
Demetri Martin
Image
I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
Demetri Martin
Image
Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.
Demetri Martin
Image
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin