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To me, comedy is a game.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Game
Comedy
Games

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
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I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
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Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.
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Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
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Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
Demetri Martin
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My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
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A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
Demetri Martin