Quote

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Find
Think
Thinking
Dreaming
Funny
Stuff
Dream

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
Demetri Martin
Image
When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
Image
I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
Demetri Martin
Image
I've never read an article of clothing.
Demetri Martin
Image
The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
Demetri Martin
Image
I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
Demetri Martin
Image
Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.
Demetri Martin
Image
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
Demetri Martin
Image
I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
Demetri Martin
Image
I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.
Demetri Martin
Image
Another thing that I like and that's fun for me is to try and talk and play music at the same time, because I feel like I'm learning something. There are these little challenges built into it it's a way to push myself a little bit more as a performer.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
Image
I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
Demetri Martin
Image
When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
Demetri Martin
Image
I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin
Image
I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
Demetri Martin
Image
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
Demetri Martin
Image
I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
Demetri Martin