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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Fast
Running
Doe
Looks
Zebra
Zebras
Gray

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri Martin
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
Demetri Martin
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I've never read an article of clothing.
Demetri Martin
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin
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I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.
Demetri Martin
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
Demetri Martin
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I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
Demetri Martin
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Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.
Demetri Martin
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To me, comedy is a game.
Demetri Martin
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I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
Demetri Martin
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
Demetri Martin
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I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
Demetri Martin
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
Demetri Martin
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I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
Demetri Martin
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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Demetri Martin
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You mock those who blindly follow the majority...turn your attention now to those who are so dedicated to deviating from the norm that they would gladly cease breathing if it were suggested to them that inhalation was a form of conformity for they deserve just as much scrutiny and ridicule.
Demetri Martin
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I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
Demetri Martin
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I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
Demetri Martin