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Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Break
Word
Structural
Point
Sucks
Damage
Rock
Rocks
Paper
Fine
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
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Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
Demetri Martin
I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
Demetri Martin
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Demetri Martin
I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
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To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
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One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'
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Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.
Demetri Martin
I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
Demetri Martin
Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
Demetri Martin
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
Demetri Martin
I never set out to do a sketch show.
Demetri Martin
I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
Demetri Martin
I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin
