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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Rained
Hippies
Hippie
Washing
Realized
Rain
Used
Way
Bummed

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
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A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
Demetri Martin
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
Demetri Martin
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I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
Demetri Martin
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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
Demetri Martin
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
Demetri Martin
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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
Demetri Martin
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
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It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
Demetri Martin
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
Demetri Martin
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Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
Demetri Martin
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
Demetri Martin
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
Demetri Martin
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I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
Demetri Martin
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I live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine.
Demetri Martin
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If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
Demetri Martin