Quote

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Thinking
Funny
People
Idea
Tell
Joke
Away
Jokes
Ideas
Laugh
Right
Laughing
Really
Fun
Think
Stand

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I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.
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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
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I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
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If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
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I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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I need to develop some patience - immediately.
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
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The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
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I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
Demetri Martin