Quote

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Would
Fit
College
Law
Jobs
Thought
School
Proved
Work
Finish
Good
Lawyer

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
Image
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
Demetri Martin
Image
I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
Demetri Martin
Image
This is a pie chart about procrastination.
Demetri Martin
Image
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
Image
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
Demetri Martin
Image
Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
Demetri Martin
Image
My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Demetri Martin
Image
The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
Demetri Martin
Image
I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
Demetri Martin
Image
In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
Image
Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin
Image
When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
Demetri Martin
Image
Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.
Demetri Martin
Image
The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
Demetri Martin
Image
I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.
Demetri Martin
Image
A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
Demetri Martin
Image
I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
Demetri Martin
Image
Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
Demetri Martin