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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
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Futon
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World
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Futons
More quotes by Demetri Martin
My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
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REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
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Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
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Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
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A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
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I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
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Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
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There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?
Demetri Martin
