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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
World
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Neighborhood
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Stores
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Comfortable
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Futons
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
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To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
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A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
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Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
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I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
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Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.
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This is a pie chart about procrastination.
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
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