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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
High
Law
Council
President
Association
School
Vice
Even
Student
Bars
Vices
Students
More quotes by Demetri Martin
Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
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Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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Once I started to look i finally began to see.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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