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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Even
Student
Bars
Vices
Students
High
Law
Council
President
Association
School
Vice
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
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I just found out that I have more allies than America!
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
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It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
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To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!
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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
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I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
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It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
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I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
Demetri Martin
