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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
People
Disapproval
Disappointing
Freedom
Found
Thing
Good
More quotes by Demetri Martin
I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
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It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
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I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.
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One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
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I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
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I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good. Hopefully it balances out.
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin
How to be a bouncer: be an asshole stand near a door.
Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
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I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
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I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.
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If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
Demetri Martin
I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
Demetri Martin
A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
Demetri Martin
My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
Demetri Martin
I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin