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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Sellers
Peter
Favorite
Actors
Time

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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.
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I can move objects with my mind, if I use my hands.
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
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Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.
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I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
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The shortest distance between two idiots is a conga line.
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To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
Demetri Martin
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
Demetri Martin
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin
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Once I started to look i finally began to see.
Demetri Martin
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Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
Demetri Martin