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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Never
Major
Theater
Students
College
Either
Improv
History
Performed
Didn
Student
Government
Majors

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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
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It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
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I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.
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When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
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The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
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I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
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I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
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Once I started to look i finally began to see.
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My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.
Demetri Martin