Quote

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Love
Structured
Specifically
Jokes
Short
Stand
Ideas

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
Demetri Martin
Image
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin
Image
Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
Demetri Martin
Image
It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
Demetri Martin
Image
Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
Demetri Martin
Image
When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
Demetri Martin
Image
When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
Image
Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin
Image
Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
Demetri Martin
Image
A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
Demetri Martin
Image
I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
Demetri Martin
Image
I just found out that I have more allies than America!
Demetri Martin
Image
I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
Demetri Martin
Image
The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
Demetri Martin
Image
I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
Demetri Martin