Quote

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Bird
Doors
Child
Sliding
Running
Bees
Children
Glass
Glasses
Romance
Door

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
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You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
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I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
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You mock those who blindly follow the majority...turn your attention now to those who are so dedicated to deviating from the norm that they would gladly cease breathing if it were suggested to them that inhalation was a form of conformity for they deserve just as much scrutiny and ridicule.
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
Demetri Martin
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
Demetri Martin
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Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Demetri Martin
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
Demetri Martin
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
Demetri Martin
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The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
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Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
Demetri Martin