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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Humor
Strolling
Walks
Hiking
Guy
Park
Funny
Parks
Else
Wander
Someone
Sorry
Waved
Thought
Walking
Sauntering
Journey
Trekking
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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
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It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.
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Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
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