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I felt a constant, low-flying desperation, the kind you feel when you are trying, trying, trying to get something you will never, ever get.

Deb Caletti

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Deb Caletti
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: June 16
Novelist
Writer
San Rafael
California
Never
Constant
Felt
Ever
Feel
Feels
Trying
Desperation
Kind
Flying
Something
Lows

More quotes by Deb Caletti

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Yeah. When you want what's real and you try to find that in high school, you might as well be looking for a mossy rock beside a babbling brook on the corner of Sixth and Pine in downtown Seattle.
Deb Caletti
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Maybe it was wrong, or maybe impossible, but I wanted the truth to be one thing. One solid thing.
Deb Caletti
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I shouldn't have to be a liar to make someone love me. I shouldn't be so afraid of losing someone that I'll do anything to make them stay.
Deb Caletti
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It was all the things you could never understand and could never possess that made you ache.
Deb Caletti
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But then there are the van Goghs and Hemingways and Mozarts, those who feel a hunger so deep, so far down, that greatness lies there too, nestled somewhere within it. Those who get their inner voice and direction from the cool mysterious insides of the moon, and not from the earth like the rest of us.
Deb Caletti
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The way two people can end up in the same place, find each other in a crowd, and change their lives and the lives of the people around them forever... It makes you believe in fate. And fate gives love some authority. Like it's been stamped with approval from above, if you believe in above. A godly green light. Some destined significance.
Deb Caletti
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...wanting things for the wrong reasons can turn anyone's life into a marshmallow on a stick over a hot fire: impossibly messy and eventually consumed, one way or another.
Deb Caletti
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Fear was the biggest bullshitter, he’d said. But sometimes, too, fear told the truth.
Deb Caletti
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The world was large, so large. Bigger than it had been before. Family, too, a bigger word. That felt like a good thing. An essential thing. There was power in numbers.
Deb Caletti
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But sometimes, too, you have this little feeling of knowing, this fuzzy, gnawing sense that someone will become a major something in your life. You just know that theirs will be a life you will enter and become a part of.
Deb Caletti
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... But then again, a person could turn ugly. Their actual look could change when their actions were repulsive.
Deb Caletti
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You've got to say what you mean and mean what you say...Doubt in your voice is an open door people will shove right through.
Deb Caletti
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So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.
Deb Caletti
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My subconscious speaks in a foreign language.
Deb Caletti
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I don’t know why we do it. But sometimes we just swim straight for the net.
Deb Caletti
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And pity--people who inspire it in you are actually very powerful people. To get someone else to take care of you, to feel sorry for you--that takes a lot of strength, smarts, manipulation. Very powerful people.
Deb Caletti
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Most of our parents wanted the best for us, I knew, but we also wanted the best for them.
Deb Caletti
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The favorite game of temperamental people is Try to Guess Why I’m Ticked Off. (Contestant number one, Why do YOU think he’s pissed off? Why, I’m not sure, Bob, but I’m going to go with ‘Because I Left the Faucet Dripping.’ BEEP. I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. The correct answer is: ‘Because You Happen to Exist.’)
Deb Caletti
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The most true-love words are not the ones that grasp and hold and bind you, twisting you both up together in some black dance. No, they are ones that leave you free to stand alone on your own solid ground, leave him to do the same, a tender space between you.
Deb Caletti
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Maybe I was being too picky. Maybe I didn't want to be close to anyone. Maybe I'd just be the type who couldn't feel love all the way or something. I couldn't tell what was wrong, but what was wrong was that it just wasn't right.
Deb Caletti