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I felt a constant, low-flying desperation, the kind you feel when you are trying, trying, trying to get something you will never, ever get.

Deb Caletti

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Deb Caletti
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: June 16
Novelist
Writer
San Rafael
California
Feels
Trying
Desperation
Kind
Flying
Something
Lows
Never
Constant
Felt
Ever
Feel

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When you raise an animal, you live it like your own child.
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Accents are funny in that they have this odd draw for us, yet we forget we have one, too. No one is without an accent, but the one you’ve got seems like oatmeal to their caviar.
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Rejection, though--it could make the loss of someone you weren't even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.
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Love seems to be something to approach with caution, as if you'd come across a wrapped box in the middle of the street and have no idea what it contains.
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Darkness does this. It finds all the places you are hiding in. It finds all the things you are holding onto tightly and makes you let go.
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It's shocking the things we call love.
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You could put your confusion and upset and worries into whatever book you were reading. You could sort of set them down in there, and you could come out with your head on a little straighter. I don't why stories worked that way, but they did.
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But sometimes, too, you have this little feeling of knowing, this fuzzy, gnawing sense that someone will become a major something in your life. You just know that theirs will be a life you will enter and become a part of.
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I didn't walk over and talk to him, though, not then. If I needed the time for a tree branch to become just a tree branch again and the wind to become just the wind, then a boy, most of all, needed some time to be only a boy.
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It makes you realize how basically everything we do comes down to a) mating or b) competing for resources. It’s just like Animal Planet, only we’ve got Cover Girl and Victoria’s Secret instead of colored feathers and fancy markings, and the violence occurs at the Nordstrom’s Half-Yearly Sale.
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Maybe I was being too picky. Maybe I didn't want to be close to anyone. Maybe I'd just be the type who couldn't feel love all the way or something. I couldn't tell what was wrong, but what was wrong was that it just wasn't right.
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You can want one thing and have a secret wish for its opposite.
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Sometimes you're sure dogs have some secret, superior intelligence, and other times you know they're only their simple, goofy selves.
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A drop of poison on that gathering snow. That moment in the fairy tale when we know what just happened but the princess doesn’t.
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An untold story has a weight that can submerge you, sure as a sunken ship at the bottom of the ocean.
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So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.
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It was all the things you could never understand and could never possess that made you ache.
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Those questions you have? Whether he's the one, whether you feel about him the way you should, or whether the relationship is going okay? When you're not sure whether you're in love with someone or not, the answer is not.
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Hope could be the most powerful thing or the most useless.
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But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. You've got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.
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