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But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. You've got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.

Deb Caletti

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Deb Caletti
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: June 16
Novelist
Writer
San Rafael
California
Made
Illusion
Really
Walking
Never
Attitude
Mirage
Stop
Mirages
Water
Ride
Back
Temporary
Wanted
Desert
Sometimes
Killed

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All of my books come from something that I happen to be working out at a given point in my life. Its kind of self-therapy.
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When what you want is a relationship, and not a person, get a dog.
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I've heard that people stand in bad situations because a relationship like that gets turned up by degrees. It is said that a frog will jump out of a pot of boiling water. Place him in a pot and turn it up a little at a time, and he will stay until he is boiled to death. Us frogs understand this.
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Here, kitty, kitty, Chico says. The cover of his cage is still on, making his tiny clown voice slightly muffled. I feel bad for him under there, just waiting to start his evil little day...Freud walks toward Chico in his slinky fashion, sits under his cage and just stares. We have satanic pets...our pets seem to have made a pact with the devil.
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A drop of poison on that gathering snow. That moment in the fairy tale when we know what just happened but the princess doesn’t.
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It occurred to me then that a lot of life was either about wanting and not having, or having and not wanting.
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You can hold a secret, hold it so far in that it drives nearly every thought and every move you make- your very heartbeat, almost.
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The hurt affects your ability to go forward.
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Just because it turned out bad, doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant.
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Love seems to be something to approach with caution, as if you'd come across a wrapped box in the middle of the street and have no idea what it contains.
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Sometimes you're sure dogs have some secret, superior intelligence, and other times you know they're only their simple, goofy selves.
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You've got to say what you mean and mean what you say...Doubt in your voice is an open door people will shove right through.
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Sometimes you build up these walls, you build and you build and you build up these walls and you think they’re so strong, but then someone can come along and tip them over with only his fingers, or the weight of his breath.
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I vow... to not let the back & forth of forgiveness interrupt the steadiness of love.
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So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.
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I didn't walk over and talk to him, though, not then. If I needed the time for a tree branch to become just a tree branch again and the wind to become just the wind, then a boy, most of all, needed some time to be only a boy.
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Rejection, though--it could make the loss of someone you weren't even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.
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Hope could be the most powerful thing or the most useless.
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Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always.
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Hurt is a weapon. Better weapon than most because it doesn't look like one.
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