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I would have spoken, had my heart not been in my throat

Deb Caletti

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Deb Caletti
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: June 16
Novelist
Writer
San Rafael
California
Spoken
Throat
Heart
Would

More quotes by Deb Caletti

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I vow... to not let the back & forth of forgiveness interrupt the steadiness of love.
Deb Caletti
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An untold story has a weight that can submerge you, sure as a sunken ship at the bottom of the ocean.
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This is just one of those annoying and unjust differences between you and your younger sibling...I was probably fifteen before I could go to a friend's house without giving mom an FBI dossier on the people Bex can practically hitchhike on the freeway with a mere Have fun, honey.
Deb Caletti
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So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.
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All of us create our own versions of an event, of our lives, even, not because were liars, necessarily, but because we can only see and understand the truth from our own viewpoint, and a shifting viewpoint at that.
Deb Caletti
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Maybe I was being too picky. Maybe I didn't want to be close to anyone. Maybe I'd just be the type who couldn't feel love all the way or something. I couldn't tell what was wrong, but what was wrong was that it just wasn't right.
Deb Caletti
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Fear was the biggest bullshitter, he’d said. But sometimes, too, fear told the truth.
Deb Caletti
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She would bring you some great book because she was a book matchmaker, because she loved books the way other girls loved clothes.
Deb Caletti
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Becoming a YA author was actually a very lucky accident. When I wrote the Queen of Everything, I thought it was a book for adults.
Deb Caletti
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You take care of the people you love, but it’s true, too, that you take care of the things you own.
Deb Caletti
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Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always.
Deb Caletti
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Sometimes you build up these walls, you build and you build and you build up these walls and you think they’re so strong, but then someone can come along and tip them over with only his fingers, or the weight of his breath.
Deb Caletti
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This is not to say I don’t feel my own grief, which can hit powerfully at unexpected times. It’s just that the telling does not automatically bring on my own upset, as people assume. I deal more with their reaction than they do with mine, and so you have to choose your timing.
Deb Caletti
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I tended to give a book a chance and another chance and another, sometimes seeing it all the way to the end, still hoping for for it turn out different. Maybe I was confused about what you owed a book. What you owed people, for that matter, real or fictional.
Deb Caletti
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The hurt affects your ability to go forward.
Deb Caletti
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One of the hardest tasks as a human being is knowing when to keep an open mind, and when not to.
Deb Caletti
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But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. You've got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.
Deb Caletti
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she wonders if we feel more regret for the things we do or for the things we didn't do
Deb Caletti
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I could forget that part, but it had to have been true.
Deb Caletti
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You were supposed to have hope, right? You were supposed to respect its power and hold on. And so I did. I held, and held, and let hope fill me. But as the days went on, it seemed I could be holding for a long, long time. Hope could be the most powerful thing or the most useless
Deb Caletti